just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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