I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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