You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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