I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
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I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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