3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
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ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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