Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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