tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize