what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize