Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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