I need to stop coming to work sober
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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