would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
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tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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