Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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