This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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