I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
How's work?
Spinning.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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