Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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