I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
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As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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