Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Panties = found
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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