and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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