Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize