I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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