I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize