Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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