just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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