Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1046 607 share tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize