idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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