im holly from the hills drunk
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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