I need help removing her.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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