he puts the penis in happiness.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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