Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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