those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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