dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize