am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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