This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
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I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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