dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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