my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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