So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
not ubering you a puppy
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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