the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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