I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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