Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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