if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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