Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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