Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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