he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize