We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize