i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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