sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize