drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Your dad touched me again.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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