I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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