What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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