I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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